Everything about having a stillborn child is, of course, hard. One of the things that's been particularly hard for us is the thought that we have made all of our memories of him and there will be no new ones.

We have a tradition of planting a tree each year. We planted one, complete with a plaque, in the park across from our house in Ann Arbor. We planted one at his mother's parents house. We planted a holly tree in our first house Takoma Park. We've planted a fruit tree at the new house.

These trees seem like more permanent memories, and memories that we can add to. There are lots of organizations that plant trees for various reasons. We'll be contacting several of them to see if they'll be willing to accept donations for Allan's trees. This idea seems like something productive and constructive that we can do, and it gives us hope that we're moving in the right direction.